MROTD 5.25.20

Here is the rough draft of my commencement address.

Seriously ladies, I don't do this because I enjoy making fun of you. I'm like Ebony Maw to the Thanos version of The Wall. "Even in death you all become children of The Wall. Your sacrifice brings order and balance back into the game." The Wall is inevitable. Not all of you start off as dimes, but over 20 years starting from your teens, even you can perceive the drop in male attention from whatever segment of men you're into. Most times that would be the scumbag segment so let's go with that. Go tap on the shoulder of an aging groupie and see if she gets the same attention from current or even past pop stars or athletes. I know some women who used to hang in the studio with what would now be considered old school rappers. Do you think they could get within 50 feet of them or whatever mumbling, junky weirdo who's popular right now? You start off at peak attractiveness, whatever that is for you, and move steadily towards becoming invisible. For a few, it's a slow stroll. For most of you, it's a sprint. The destination is always the same.

So what does this mean for the female class of 2020? It means that IF you want a family and stable life, you should leverage your peak attractiveness to find the best mate now. You can't be riding the pogo sticks throughout your late teens and 20's and then pivot to something more traditional when your riddled with emotional and physical baggage. You should be leveraging your youth and remaining mental stability to partner up with a responsible man. And no, there aren't enough NBA players or White billionaires for each bw to have one. For some of you, you might draw from a pool of doctors, lawyers, engineers or other professionals. As an aside, I went to an engineering school as an undergrad. Do you know what the smartest white women did? They paired up with guys at school. So at 22, you're partnered with a newly minted chemical or mechanical engineer. You know what many of the bw were doing? Traveling to the nearby State school to get pumped and dumped by the perpetually weed-scented. When I scan facebook profiles today, I can see the differences in outcomes. I see bearded white men with homely wives and a couple of children with strawberry jam stained cheeks living their white lives in their rural upstate homes. When I look at the bw? Baby mama'd and lonely, trying to find the next sip and paint party where they'll mostly sip.

But this was predictable given how they started. IF your choice is to fuck with reckless abandon, I have no problem with that. In fact, I thank you for your service. The problem is you try to course correct later in life and it doesn't work. Pick a side and commit. To the younger ladies, look at your mama's and aunties and decide if that's the life you want in the future. Do you want to live a nice, suburban lifestyle or do you want to be like your mama and be in your 40's living out a suitcase and about to be evicted from your duplex home? You have a choice. Make it and then accept the consequences.