Just Dandy

Many Black male Youtubers and social media influencers (whatever the hell that is) have a penchant for fashion and focus a lot on outward appearance. For Black people in general, looking the part has always been important. One reason for this is because most have never actually had the part and they are trying to take control of any aspect— no matter how insignificant, that is within their control—to try to make their dreams a reality. Another reason is rank insecurity. They are desperately looking to both affirm their humanity to themselves and have it affirmed by others.

I had a family member say to me once:

Him: I’m out here getting my bushy eyebrows plucked to look as clean-cut and clean-shaven as possible to get the job. Meanwhile you go to interviews looking like Cornel West. What the hell is going on?

Me: Get your butt hole waxed along with your eyebrows. Maybe that will separate you from the pack on your job search.

Do you see what I mean by insecurity and looking for affirmation from others? I don’t blame him entirely for his reaction (just mostly) because we are (inter) dependent on others for survival. And that is the third reason why so many focus on attire. The problem is the people we as Black men are around hate us. White people hate us. Black women hate us. We are adrift in a sea of hate. Instead of just accepting it for what it is, some of us foolishly believe that, if we just dress the part, life will get better for us. It almost assuredly won’t so your time and resources are much better spent elsewhere and in areas that will allow you not to have to obsess over how you are perceived by those who mean you no good..

We have to move beyond the superficial and here’s why: People who hold you in contempt because of what you represent for them don’t give a damn about how you present yourself to them. When I get asked about jobs I may not get because of my unkempt Afro, my response is “Perfect.” Why would you want to work with or for someone like that anyway? When I get asked about the girls who might turn me down because I don’t look the part, my response is “Perfect.” I don’t care how good they suck, eventually you’ll find out how bad it sucks to be around them.

When I was in High School, I had to wear a tie and Blazer to school every day. I pressed my own slacks and polished my own shoes. It’s not that I can’t dress professionally at work or Peacock for the ladies after work. It’s that I choose not to. It’s just not something I care to do and it certainly isn’t worth the time and effort so many of these online metrosexuals put into it. Perhaps if I didn’t spend my formative years in a suit, I might feel differently about it. If I had grown up wearing nothing but rags and the gloves with the finger holes cut out to feel the warmth of a trash can fire, maybe I would feel differently. But I didn’t, so I don’t. And even if I did, I still have a first-rate mind that allows me to see things for what they are and overcome obstacles. There’s nothing wrong with being clean and presentable, but the turtleneck, double-breasted blazer and the diamond studded fedora? You’re doing too much. The tuxedo with the tutu? You’re doing too much. Tens of thousands of dollars on designer clothes or shoes? You’re doing too much. How about clean and simple without gaudy labels or graffiti all over them?

One of the things you’ll notice about wealthy Whites is that they look interchangeable. It’s always the same darker, solid colored suit coat, white shirt, and thin ass tie or no tie at all. Honestly, it’s not much different from how I dressed in High School. Granted, I don’t think they shopped at Men’s Warehouse, but they don’t need the clothing to stand out because what was done on their behalf speaks for them. During my doctoral program, the faculty was on a first name basis. Why weren’t they constantly throwing their titles around to impress each other? Because they all had them. The titles where for the people who didn’t have them. For Black people, designer clothes are our titles, a chance to feel important to somebody.

As Black men, we don’t have people doing things for us like the wealthy Whites. We are lucky if we aren’t actively being worked against. I get it. But the solution should not be to waste the resources we do have trying to curry the favor of and enrich the people who hate us. You have to be more strategic with the money you have and overpriced clothing and other ostentatious displays are very poor investments.