Breaking the Chains

Just like I tell women that you need to cash in when you are at the peak of your youth and beauty to secure the best deal for yourself and your future children, I have advice for the men as well. You need to expand your options. Let me tell you what I don’t mean since so many of you were raised by single mothers and this necessitates that I tell you what I don’t mean so that the absolute brightest among you might understand.

When I say expand your options, I don’t mean go all Lil Nas X. And I don’t mean exclusively date white women. Although I don’t give AF what you do as an individual, I’m speaking more to the collective about ways to progress forward. Black women think I mean the above because 1) they like to question your sexuality if you aren’t attracted to Klingons or 2) they believe I’m recommending White women because, for them, dating out means dating White men. They assume the way they think is the way everyone thinks. If you look at the data, Black men have a very eclectic taste in women. And like other groups of men, Asian women are the most popular. The problem is their numbers are relatively small. If they were to start rivaling the number of white women in the country, you’d be much more familiar with Mac and Quon Le than Flipper and Angie. I know those references shot way over most of your heads. And I just ended up dating myself like a Friday night on Tinder.

Anyway, when I say date out, that could very well mean women from within or outside of the diaspora. I am not telling you whom to date. I’m saying keep your options open because, when you do, you not only maximize your potential for happiness, you also do the rest of us a solid by helping to give these wayward women the reality check they so desperately need. You can date an Island chick who is darker-skinned than you. You might date an Indian chick who’s darker-skinned than you. You might date a Dominican chick whose darker-skinned than you. Dating out for Black men opens up a whole new pooniverse. It will make you a happier, healthier, more productive individual which benefits us all as a whole.

Get all this race loyalty and questions about legacy out of your mind. That’s just bw/single mother programming. First, Black women in America are the least loyal group of women on the planet. Read Daughters of the Trade if you don’t believe me. Hell, read what they say online. You can’t travel 3 clicks (of a mouse) through any Black social media without some bw saying the foulest, most treacherous, sh!t imaginable. No other group of women is as patently disloyal as Black women. The problem is nobody else wants them in large numbers so they lie to you about being loyal. If you want to see what their loyalty is worth in real-time, visit your nearest family court and just listen. You are a fool if you are pledging fidelity to them.

Also, stop worrying about legacy. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, we don’t look like the ones who were taken off the boat. Blackness will be just fine if you date Marisol, Chun Li or Becky. I know Becky got you particularly worried, but if I put up pictures of Barack and Malcolm X, I’m sure 98% revere at least one of those figures. They are piss-yellow like a lot of Black pioneers. They also married wom….*looks at Michelle Obama*…individuals significantly darker than themselves. The so-called race will be fine. No need to sacrifice your happiness for ungrateful thots. Black man, you more than anyone else in the history of the world, deserve to be happy.

To do this, you’re going to have to re-wire your brain. I promise you it can be done. When I was in high school/college, I used to love me some titties. Couldn’t get enough. But by the time I hit grad school, I discovered the a$$. You heard the likely apocryphal story of the apple hitting Isaac Newton on the head? Well, for me, I was struck by the apple bottom. That light bulbous turned me on, ya dig. A few years later, I was into the petite spinner chicks. Looked like God built them using fuzzy sticks. When I was younger, I couldn’t see the point of getting with a chick built like a losing game of hangman. 10 years later, I loved feeling them draped over my shoulder like Superman’s cape. My point is you just have to learn to unlearn the ho-gramming. By freeing yourself, you are helping to free others. In the future, we'll call this great awakening PoonTeenth.